New Year's Painful Truth
by Lula6791
Summary: Under the rain engulfed with the numbness and the cold seeping into me. I fall to my knees. Unable to stop my tears... It is AU with OOC.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own VD-neither the books nor the TV version. I don't gain any profits from this. This writing is just for fun. The amazing characters are from L.J. Smith, CW and Alloy Entertainment, but I do claim my original characters. And I certainly don't own Les Misérables.

**A/N/Warning:** This one-shot has my favorite pairing Bonnie and Damon. It is AU, but I have to tell you that my inspiration for this little story came from the stunning lyrics of two songs from the Les Misérables. It is a sad story but it is beautifully written either the Broadway version or the movie. The main characters could be OOC. So please bear with me a little.

Oh! I almost forgot Happy (Belated) New Year. (I did try to publish this earlier.) I hope you'll like it.

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**New Year's Painful Truth**

_"And now I'm all alone again nowhere to turn, no one to go to without a home without a friend without a face to say hello to_

_ and now the night is near now I can make believe he's here..." ~ On my Own lyrics from Les Misérables, Eponine character singing._

_"If I could heal your wounds with words of love..." ~ A Little Fall Of Rain lyrics from __Les Misérables, Eponine character singing._

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**40...**

Mere seconds left and here I am watching everyone waiting for the New Year to come. I am part of the party and yet... I feel invisible. Why should I wait with joy this New Year? My heart is broken and with every passing second sadness fills the remnants of my soul.

How could I forget the cruel truth? Memories... Cruel memories...

_I was at the ruins of Honoria Fell tomb. My endless walk brought me there. I didn't know why. I glanced the ruins and the nearest tombs. The creepy feeling of the lost souls come and goes. It happens every time I enter the sacred place where the ley lines crossed and so much blood from past battles was spilled. _

_The breeze was cold and it felt like an omen. _

_"You like to find danger, Little Bird?"_

_Now it was clear to me why I came. This was the only place where I could find him without witnesses and beautiful interruptions. It was the place where his attention was totally mine._

_"Sometimes I like being on my own."_

_"That's dim-witted. You should know better."_

_I closed my eyes at his painful remark. As always he told me the truth, but I couldn't help it. My yearning for his attention was so strong that sometimes it felt like needles piercing every part of me. This creepy place gave me the opportunity to see him alone and if that didn't happen I could dream about him without any fear._

_"Are you staying?"_

_He blinked several times. My abrupt question amused him. He leaned into one of the headstones crossing his arms on his chest. _

_"I do as I please, Red Bird."_

_I shrugged and turn around intent to continue my walking. A quick sound that arrives too late to my ears warned me that Damon moved in front of me. I already clashed into him and felt his coldness seeping from his hard body. _

_"Don't ignore me, Kitten."_

_"Why?"_

_His face transformed to his real self. He was no longer the handsome Italian guy. He was the monster who kills in seconds without remorse. He leaned and breathes into my neck and ear. A shiver ran through my body. I was afraid._

_"You should remember to fear me"_

_"I... I... can't... for... forget it" _

_I stammered and waited for the next thing to happen. Suddenly he jerks his head up and listened. He let me go and disappear. Something must have caught his attention. _

"Bonnie wake up the year is almost over"

Meredith's voice snaps me out. Surreptitiously I look at the clock.

**30...**

Ten seconds gone and here I am recalling memories of him. I didn't know if it was a waste of time to think about him. But I needed to do it. This New Year's gathering seems so normal that I almost gag because of it. I nod at Meredith and raise my glass. She smiles at me and turn her eyes to Alaric.

The next thing I pay attention to is the infamous trio. Two brothers and my fierce, beautiful blonde friend.

Yes, memories...

_After my witchcraft lesson with Mrs. Flowers I ran outside. I breathed the clean air and relished the glorious warmth of the sun. For a tiny moment I felt free. I needed so much to get out of the boarding house. I knew Mrs. Flowers meant well and I was the one who requested her to teach me, but sometimes I only wanted to be a normal, silly girl._

_My eyes studied the back yard. Mrs. Flowers garden with its helpful herbs. The nearby trees surrounding the little clearing behind the Boarding House. The old tree where sometimes I sat to daydream. I went to the tree with the idea to sit down and dream a little. _

_When I was near I heard something strange. It couldn't be! I passed the tree and walked towards the sounds of pleasures. I was trembling and my heart was already aching. _

_In seconds I confirmed what I had heard. _

_There it was the dark vampire with his princess kissing. Her neck had his bite marks and he was too enthralled with her to notice the peeping- tom that stood in front of them. I knew it was foolish to dream about him. But dreaming was what I had. _

_So deaf!... So blind!... How could he be like that?_

_Elena opened her eyes and stalled her ministrations on him. Regret and worry flashed in her eyes._

_I turned around and left. _

_I didn't want them to see my pain..._

**20...**

The shout of everybody wakes me up. Only twenty seconds and still I'm thinking about him.

I can't be here. So I walk into the darkness of the night at the coldest time of the year. Yes, a year was dying and I didn't know what to feel.

And again memories...

_I ran towards the place where I could pretend. Over there, on my own, I believed he loved me. He would be by my side loving me. I could pretend that I walked beside him until the sunrise._

_I could pretend if I lost my way he would find me, but I know at the end of the night I'll lose him. I knew his world would continue without me. So I dreamed and pretend and because of that the moon shine brightly._

_"I love him" I muttered._

_I reached Honoria's Fell tomb and he was there. _

_"I knew you would be here, Red Bird."_

_He walked towards me. He looked more like the predator he is than the dream of him I have in my mind. I froze on the spot. I couldn't move and my heart beats were faster than ever. He smirked. He knew his effect on me. He knew it!_

_"Who do you love, kitten?"_

_I couldn't talk between the ache and the pain. I shut off my mind and made my mind to go to my dream version of him. _

_"Who do you love?"_

_He nuzzled my neck and made me tremble. What was this some kind of torture? Why?_

_"I asked a question, Little Bird?"_

_"I... I don't love anyone."_

_"Liar, Red Bird... I know when you lie. Who do you love?"_

_He continued his sweet torture..._

_"You."_

_He left me right there standing looking at nothing after my confession. _

_I do love him... On my own._

I reluctantly walk again into the party.

**10...**

Ten more seconds until freedom. I want to leave and go home. I couldn't stand watching him admiring his princess. Their eyes glued to the TV watching New York's ball drop.

I can't... No more. I walked outside and breathe hard. The pain is unbearable. I can't think clearly.

Fool! That's what I am. She is his princess. Since the first day, since the first time their eyes locked. They belong together.

Breathe... Bonnie breathe...

Even the moon is hidden. No stars either. The clouds govern the dark night...

And as my heart cries raindrops start to fall.

**9...**

The year is nearly over and the agony is deeper. I need to go. Immediately I start to run but a strong hand stops me.

"Where are you going? It's cold and raining."

I look at him and for the first time I felt nothing. The pain numbs me.

"Don't worry I don't feel the pain anymore. A little fall of rain can hardly hurt me."

He grabs me harder against him.

"Why do you keep doing this to me?" I whisper.

He looks at me with his dark eyes. I can't see the stars in them. He leans and kiss me. Softly, gentle and bittersweet.

"I need to keep you safe, Kitten. And to do that I need you close."

**8...**

Raindrops and tears mingle on my face. My heart disappears under the numbness after the last wound he just inflicted on it.

"I love you and you're here that's all I need to know."

He stood there in silence. Not his eyes, not his mind, not his voice. He gives me nothing.

**7...**

"Damon"

Her call wakes him up, but he does nothing. He keeps watching me.

**6...**

"If I could, Red Bird I would heal you with words of love."

**5...**

"Just hold me now. Don't go."

"Damon"

Her call is more urgent than before. The year is slipping away and Elena's third part of her love triangle is with me under the rain.

"Damon"

I keep looking at him. And the harshness of the moment mixed with the cold of the night.

**4...**

He nods and hold me hard like it is the last time between us.

"Damon where are you?"

**3...**

He lifts my chin and leans down. Another sweet kiss. This one is the goodbye. I could feel it, but I didn't want to believe it. I still have hope.

**2...**

"I love you, Damon" I look expectantly. I wait for him.

"Kitten... I can't."

He leaves.

**1...**

Under the rain engulfed with the numbness and the cold seeping into me. I fall to my knees. Unable to stop my tears and witnessing as my last hope dies.

"Happy New Year, Bonnie... I am on my own" I mutter.

**~~~ _Fin ~~~_**

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**A/N:** I want to say thank you to Hopelessdream2005. Thank You girl for your help!

If I'm lucky enough that you reach this point of this one-shot thank you for reading it. I'll love you more if you let me know what do you think about it. It's down there write me something. ;)


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